Ask Rabbit: How to Create Change in your Life

Ask Rabbit Episode 3: Making Changes from Rabbit White on Vimeo.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 6:05 — 5.6MB)

Audio Only Above

Show Notes:

The question at hand is: how to begin changing your life, how to create change when you are at rock bottom. I think that changing your life is often about changing patterns. With the help from the book The Courage to Heal, here is is a breakdown for creating change and breaking patterns:

Become aware of Behavior you want to change
Just becoming aware of the things you want to change is a huge step.
Examine Reasons you Developed that Behavior
Ask yourself in a quiet moment, when else do I remember feeling this way? What was going on in my life then? There may be several instances that come up, explore it.
Have compassion for what you’ve done in the past
You did the best you could in the situation you were in and your choices got you to where you are today. You can also focus on the better choices you are making now.
Find new Ways to Meet your Needs
Take your needs seriously, all of your parts are there for a reason. You can ask, what would this part rather be doing?
Get Support
Your environment is a big factor in the ability to make changes. This means getting the enablers out of your life, the people who are part of the cycle. These people may be threatened by your change because that means they also have to change. People who are living the patterns you are trying to break will continually suck you in.
Make Several Tries and Be Persistent
This is a slow process. When you begin to change you will get backlash from other parts of yourself. Just stay with it, think of it as an entire lifestyle change. Check in with yourself to see how you feel about your progress.

Bonus tips:

Name your Fears: Make a list of the things you’d have to overcome if you actually changed. It may be easy now to see why you were scared! But seeing them on paper can also be an empowering shift.
It is okay if you stumble. That is part of creating change, stick with it and forgive yourself when you slip.
Take your time. There is no race with self-work.
Make a list of how far you’ve already come in your self-work. What have you already accomplished? Where were you a month ago? 6 months ago? Give yourself credit!
After acknowledging how far you’ve come, make goals for yourself, work out ways to work towards these goals.
Celebrate those successes! Ned and I always keep a bottle of champagne on hand for our successes, no matter how big or small they may seem.

I’d love to answer any questions or help with whatever is on your mind! send your questions to askrabbit@rabbitwrite.com

Rabbit Write