Ask Rabbit: How to not “just be friends” with someone you like

Ask Rabbit Episode 4: Staying Out of the Just Friend Zone from Rabbit White on Vimeo.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 5:14 — 4.8MB)

Show Notes

Letting yourself settle into just friend category with someone you like is a mistake that guys stereotypically make, but women do too. The reason that going from friends to more doesn’t work isn’t always because they aren’t interested in you, but because they already have you as “friend” in their mental tab. Going for more crosses a boundary and is confusing. It is also mental-hell for the “friend” with feelings. If you’ve ever been there (and who hasn’t) you know it isn’t a place to re-visit. In this video, Ned and I discuss how to stay out of the friend zone with someone you like.

Know what you want from the relationship early on. You don’t have to be vocal about it, but be assertive.
Don’t do “friend stuff” with people you are interested in dating. Try to actually connect, ask the big questions, don’t avoid things like values, politics or religion.
It’s about taking dating seriously, but that doesn’t mean being serious all of the time. When you discuss the serious stuff it leaves you more open to be free and creative together.
Don’t be stingy with your heart, time or money. Throw yourself completely in then ask, is the other person reciprocating?
Don’t date a lot of people at once. This also means don’t let things go on too long. If you know it isn’t going anywhere, shut it down.
If you are already friends & then develop feelings just go for it. Don’t do the “but it could ruin our friendship” thing because holding it in is also going to ruin your friendship!

As always please send any questions on yr mind to askrabbit@rabbitwrite.com