Rabbit Write

So often the idea of Holidays and seeing family is more  happy and comfortable than what actually happens. Coming back from a  Holiday that was a bit stressful or unpleasant-at-times can set off a spiral of sadness, dissociation and self attack. Yet after post- December- turmoil, most people don’t settle into extra self-care. We come back to our routines with the idea of starting over, making demands on ourselves to begin dieting, exercising, cleaning, working harder– changing! I tend to think that resolutions are a pact aligned too closely with self-attack, with too much pressure. Making these resolutions after the emotional roller-coaster of the holiday season is just asking for panic-attacks.

Yet I am of course, not anti-changing or anti-growing. I always have goals for myself and I think having these end-points in mind is important. One continuous goal of mine is to be aware of my quality of life, and to continue increasing it. I think that during this post Christmas-madness season we should all be mindful of our quality of life. Here are some ideas for how to be careful with yourself after the Holiday season while also working to increase your quality of life.

Imagination

• During the Holidays especially, our inner children get triggered. Christmas inevitably reminds many of us of being kids again and that fact that it is just not like it was when we were kids can be heartbreaking.  If there is a part that relates to this and you did not allow them to be heard during the holiday, allow them to scream/grieve/cry.
• Engage with that inner child through art. Put on music and have a free drawing session, focusing on your emotions and how it feels to draw, rather than what you are creating.
• Create a piece of art as if you were your child-self. For example allow yourself to emotionally go back to age 8 and draw what you would have drawn then.
• Get together with a friend and have a silent creative session. First lay out all of the art/building supplies then put a timer on for 30-60 mins. With the supplies, create something together without talking at all. I’ve done this exercise and it really engaged my younger inner child and was also great fun.
• Enroll in a class to allow time for creativity. For instance, Ned is thinking of getting involved with robot-building classes, and I am browsing for a creative writing group.

Mind

• Recover from and process the Holiday. Move back into your mind, and notice when you are experiencing difficult emotions. If you didn’t allow yourself to feel these during Holiday, they’ll continue bubbling beneath your skin. It might be harder now to name the emotions and allow them in. Check in with yourself at different points of the day to see how you are feeling. When processing what you felt during Holiday, you may feel like something  specific triggered a “negative” feeling, but are unsure why. You can always jot this down and come back to it later.
• Quiet the Noise. This is important after any upheaval.Whether you choose to just take some quiet time each day for yourself or have dedicated meditations, being present to your experiences is a great step in improving quality of life. Yet, quieting the chatter in our heads doesn’t always come naturally. For those with active and noisy minds, why not try a meditation CD, I recommend 1 & 2. Many cities also have meditation courses. I’ve been wanting to try IMU in Chicago, who offer a unique spin, like a full moon mediation with intuitive let-loose dance sessions beforehand and monthly hiking trips with a guided mediation rest. If you find that you really don’t want to be alone with your thoughts and yourself, that is a key sign that something is up, emotionally.
• Journaling. The first step here is buying a fabulous journal whose pages you can’t wait to fill. I find it helps work out my thoughts, worries and is a great space for tracking dreams. Start with writing about how you feel after the Holidays and how you feel about the new year.
• Notice your defenses. If you are mentally going over the all too familiar fights you had at Christmas, try to begin to notice where you were being defensive. This does not mean the altercation was your fault, in families especially we almost can’t help but to step into the defensive roles and continue old patterns. But just becoming aware of those defenses can jump-start growth.

Body

• Be weary of jumping on the lose weight for The New Year train. Triggers that make us feel guilty and unsure about our health and bodies are everywhere right now. If you are suddenly feeling like you have to whip yourself into shape immediately, or lose weight right now, the safest bet might be to continue on with your regular exercise and eating and re-evaluate in another month.
• Be mindful of alcohol consumption. Another thing about being on Holiday is that we tend to drink more. It might feel sort of natural to continue with your three-scotches-a-night routine, but be aware of when you are drinking. When you find yourself reaching for a drink, ask yourself if you really want or need it.
• Getting out. It’s winter-time, for a lot of us that means sludgy gray snow, ice and staying in. But stretching your legs outside and getting some sun will still feel good! Check out what winter-events still going on in your city’s park district. In Chicago we have snow-shoeing for Polar Bear Adventure Days, ice skating (either on Wrigley Field or amidst downtown architectural views) and a chance to peel off the gloves and scarves for strolls at the Garfield or Lincoln Park conservatories, enjoying the layers of lush greens, tinkling waterfalls and warm air.

Space

• If you had guests, you might need to re-claim your space. For me this involves cleaning and re-organizing. I find it tempting to just leave the mess– it feels so draining. Remember that you want your space to feel like yours, and you want it to feel good.
• If you traveled, give yourself time to settle back into your home. On the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, travel and Christmas are both factors. You will definitely need emotional and mental time to settle too, but make your physical space the monument to this. Unpack, clean and spend a downtime at home.
• Purge un-needed gifts. Strive to not bring things you don’t love or need into your home even if they are gifts. Ask yourself if you love or need the item, or if the emotional impact makes it worth keeping. Remember, it is the thought that counts…so send those gifts to a thrift shop and to someone else who will use them.

Wishing you a stunning 2010 full of vitality and whimsy!

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1. Executing Self-Care
2. Throw those resolutions out! (Making goals that work)
3. PTSD: Post Traumatic Sex Disorder
4. Belated Birthday Extravaganza Post
5. Freedom from Holidays Calendar