When I uncovered the secret of my past my family began to dispise me, thats where I’m at right now.I am stuck because they are paying for my therapy that insurence doesnt cover and I’m a student waiting to get accepted to grad school.

Thanks for posting this it helped me to feel not so alone. Take Care. Be Well.
Hope´s last blog ..Evil Lives In My House

After years of stuffing my feelings and pretending that I was fine, I found an Adult Children of Alcoholics group and started working on myself. I am so glad that my dad was an alcoholic. That gave me some place to start.

I went for over 10 years with no contact with my dad. I didn’t want to take a chance of him abusing my children. My mom, I bought to live with my family when she and my dad separated and later divorced. She lived with us for 14 years. When I got into counseling, I realized my reasons for doing that. I wanted her in my life in whatever way that I could have her there. I felt like if I took her in and took care of her, then she would finally love me. Yes, I know how sick and co-dependant that is, at the time, I didn’t care. It took me 14 years to let go of that relationship.

Relationships with family of origin can be difficult or impossible. Thanks for your article.
Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker´s last blog ..Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse: October 30, 2009 Edition

I haven’t had a relationship with my mother for over 5 years. I came to realize that she is against me, not for me, and that I couldn’t have any kind of honest, respectful relationship with her. My life has gotten easier, in many ways, since coming to this decision–though it was painful to make at the time.

i think of my best friend as family. i dont think family has to mean blood relatives at all.
sarah hannah´s last blog ..Beauty As The Beast

My Mum really gets this though, I love her more than anyone else in the world. When I was 17 and wanted to move to a different city with a guy she “let” me go despite protests from my grandparents. She knew that I was smart enough to look after myself and she let me know she would be there if I needed anything. I could be my own person and she took care of me in all possible ways despite a lack of money.
I’m so happy that I can consider her a friend. She has the same sort of relationship with her Mum, so there might be something in that.
Ms Constantine´s last blog ..It’s OK To Be Psychotic

Sada,
You raise great questions. I think that I sometimes feel like people who just go along with the built-in relationships of their families without exploring them or reflecting on their experiences don’t realize that they do have free-will, (but of course they do.) I think it is a beautiful thing to both realize you have free-will in the relationship, explore it AND continue building a healthy family relationship. That is the ultimate and may be the best way to be truly free, however it’s not the answer for everyone, as you mentioned alot of us do have poorer relationships with our parents.

As I said in the post I think things are getting better for kids. I think maybe we have reached a point in time where our generation wasn’t aren’t SO broken down by propaganda and abuse that we are seeing that we do have a choice! To me that is such a beautiful thing. It kinda makes me have more hope for our generation than anything.

Thanks so much for your input! <3

That being said…I’ve seen some terrible parenting! I have so many friends who are currently estranged from their parents that I too wonder if it’s some sort of generational parenting fail. My best friend’s mother would always say to us “I’m your parent not your friend,” and I always felt like she was hiding behind some Biblical bullshit to appear infallible. My parents always emphasized that they were my friends and parents, and I plan to do the same if I ever end up raising a child.

Love reading your posts!
Sada´s last blog ..Inland Hurricane + Workshoppe Update